Thursday, October 13, 2011

Time flies when you're a college senior

True Life: I'm a terrible blogger. It's only October but I'm making my new years resolution now.. Blog at least 3 times a week! If everything goes according to plan I will be having lots to share anyhow :)

I AM GOING TO ITALY! Holy Ravioli. I finally did it. I will be studying in Florence, Italy January - May of 2012. It's my goal to blog in both Italian and English so hold me accountable okay! My mom keeps wishing a husband and babies on me upon my stay overseas. She's crazy. Maybe I'll get a tattoo instead.
Does anyone have camera recommendations? Nothing that screams 'tourist' too loudly but I want some legit shots.

Before I depart, I've got my fingers crossed for an internship with a modeling agency. I will for sure be dressing their models for shows through out the season and I'm really hoping our relationship grows from there! Its always a good feeling to walk into an interview with super sweet girls hugging you. Not too bad of an office environment if you ask me :)

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sorry I've been a pail of fail everyone!

Sorry I've been MIA for a few weeks. School started. I became a part time nanny. My entire sleeping pattern changed. It's been a little chaotic over here! None the less, its time for some catchup and mustard time. You all had that in elementary school right?? :) 


Lets talk college. Lets talk about my embarrassing second day of school.. I am almost 21 years old and still do the clumsy and embarrassing things you do in the second grade. I spilt balsamic vinaigrette all over my crotch while eating lunch in between classes. {Insert the applause and laughs here} I spilt the dressing which also took down some feta cheese and pine nuts with it into my lap. It was a really attractive scene down there. Cue me rushing to bathroom to splash myself with water in which it looks like I just peed myself to girls just entering the bathroom. Great. Follow that with me trying to get my stumps of legs to magically hoist me high enough to reach the blow of the dryer to my crotch. No such magic happened. Welcome back to school!

On a more serious note, I will be graduating within the next year and a half and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life or my degree. Yay. Game plan? Runaway to Europe until I find a rich hunky husband that can't speak English so I don't have to listen to him the rest of my life OR stay in school until there's actually jobs available for me to decide on having. Which would you choose?!

Nannying: the best birth control known to man. I won't be procreating until I can afford full time help. No exceptions. I really do adore the kids I care for but oh my goodness I want to know who puts quarters in these kids before I pick them up from school. My 8 year old pointed out, without hesitation, my zits and their exact location and proceeded to ask if I already regretted having a tattoo because I did that to my body. Sheesh.

Hope the new school year or change of season brings you lots of laughs! PS I promise I'll be putting up more pictures; I know I'm a slacker.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

She's so silly, sometimes I just wanna kiss her

Last night I had an impromptu girls' night with one of my best friends who's been spending her life on the other side of the planet (or the other side of Phoenix). Either way she's been too far to torture me at the gym  or feed me as is the usual routine. Counter productive? Eh, maybe. We're girls. Our satiety levels don't determine whether we eat or not! She came over with the intent of picking me and my nutrition homework up to go spend some time on the treadmill. Instead, we ate. She actually sneak attacked me with the food. Once we decided to eat pizza instead of sweating it out she said she was running downstairs to get her wallet and phone. 10 minutes later she's still MIA and as I'm about to call her since she's already ignored the "where are you text?!" message she waltz's through the door with rootbeer, frozen pizza and brownies!! Freakin' genius decides it's quicker for her to drive to Safeway and get the goods then us ordering. God I love her.

I feel how I met this lovely lady will provide a good moral of the story for the "that relationship with the douchebag was a waste of time" feeling.. I gained her amazing friendship through her brother whom I dated for over a year. Now, he's not a douche bag (most of the time) and it definitely wasn't a waste of time. Besides all the things I gained and learned from him, which I'll have to save for another blog, I gained a friend that I now consider to be a sister. (LA fitness thinks we're sisters, you're welcome for your discounted rate ;) ) She's introduced me to the most fabulous nail salon, Thai Elephant, the Christmas Idea House and we've had more laughs and cries than I could ever begin to thank her for. So if you've recently gone through a break up, take a look around and I bet you'll be able to find something or someone that you've gained from the relationship that you wouldn't trade for the world.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Today I feel Blah.

Yep. I'm having one of those days where I just feel icky. Not enough to be knocked out in bed but just enough that you feel like you could throw up if you laugh too hard...sexy, huh? On days like this I pretty much just watch my favorite d.i.l.f. for hours on end, Mr. Detective Elliot Stabler on Law & Order:SVU. YES, PLEASE! Or I watch the most nerdiest documentaries ever known to man kind. I could tell you all about lyme disease. Or the lack of nutritional education M.D.'s receive which I actually find quite troubling. Nutrient deficiency's are what cause most of our health problems in this country (see all that Nutrition reading is paying off people!) yet are primary care doctors receive very little training in nutrition. Here comes the tree hugger voice again but I'd much rather be given an extra dose of strawberries than a huge nasty horse pill making some fatty drug exec rich. I'm considering doing a modified fruit/veggie juice cleanse. I'd eat a hearty, healthy breakfast and then have two servings of the fruit and veggie juice for lunch and dinner. Has anyone ever done one?! Did you like it? Was it difficult? Let me know!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Oh, the people you run into.

I ran into quite the character today, let me tell you. 

For those of you that don't know me personally or haven't seen me in person you need to know that God threw about 6 different sized body parts onto my body to walk around with the rest of my life..real funny big guy real funny. I am 5'2 and a 1/2". My dear friend Krysta informed me one afternoon at the H&M dressing rooms that she's always noticed I was short but she never noticed it was due to my lack of legs. And I quote, "it's like your upper body grew to an adult size but you have the legs of a 13 year old". I don't know how any of you looked at 13 but I have no desire to go through that awkward turtle phase again. I've decided it's just my hip to knee ratio that's small. I have baby hands with ghetto thighs and huge boobs. There I said it. I look like a short stack of pancakes. Get the visual? Good!

Moving on. Or moving back to the character I ran into today. With my body dimensions in mind please be prepared for the mental movie I'm about to play for you. My friend and I were rushing through the mall before they closed to get back to our car after our movie and I turn the corner just as a Mexican family with about 9,437 chubby prepubescent boys is coming from the opposite direction and BOOM the little stuffed chile relleno runs face first right into the cleavage of my v-neck dress!! I am mortified. I feel violated. I'm afraid I can go to jail for this. My face is as red as a freakin' jalapeno. AND THE DAD IS JUST LAUGHING. Lord help me if I ever have a son one day that runs into some young girl's rack. 

Monday, August 1, 2011

Proof that I was meant to be an urbanite.

Here comes my tree hugger voice. Hear me roar.

Over the weekend I had to dish out 200 bucks on car maintenance and repairs. The actual recommendation for repairs was over $600 but I haven't mustered up the courage to become a web-cam model yet so that cash wasn't just sittin' pretty in my bank account. 

I want to express how much I hate cars. They're expensive, stress me out (both driving them and being in them) and are HORRIBLE for both the environment and this country's economic crisis. Ya, I'm gettin' political. I'm in college - Im supposed to get all crazy about shit like this. If we weren't so "dependent" on the oil in the Middle East do you think we'd still have our troops over there risking their lives to reform a region's government that they may or may not want in the first place? Do you have any idea how much debt the war puts us in? 

Scientifically speaking, we are not, I repeat - NOT dependent on oil for a source of fuel. We've got some smart cookies in the labs these days. And I'd be willing to bet they're kinda cute too (Completely irrelevant but I just want to throw it out there that lanky scientists with borderline jew 'fros are my favorite kind of male) Anyways, the unfortunate news for our clean air and checking accounts is that politics rules and it'll be longer than a day away before we see some change. 

In the mean time - I highly suggest you get yourself a bitchin' beach cruiser. Mine's bright yellow with a floral printed bell and a basket. Biking makes your butt look good and you don't have to buy gas. SCORE. Man oh man I cannot wait until I'm living in NY walking everywhere and freezing out the allergies in my head. 

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Welp, it finally happened.

I'm 99.46327% sure that my roommate's big, black boyfriend saw me naked today. Total accident, no big deal, but freakin' hilarious. The roomie and the bf left and I got naked to go run my shower water and as I'm about to hop in with the bathroom door still open the bf bursts through the door because they forgot something on the counter. My roommate and I honestly never wear clothes and the fact that this incident hasn't happened in the 5 months we've been living together is a miracle. When it's 112 degrees outside (and for those of you reading this that live outside of Phoenix, no I am not exaggerating, it's 112 outside) can you blame us for rockin' the birthday suits?! Don't think so.

I'd love to show you a picture of me and the roomie naked to add a visual for this story but this is not that kind of website :)

Monday, July 25, 2011

Technologically Challenged. Or Retarded.

My mother. Oh, how we all love them and their...widsom? Hmm. We'll see about that. I will start by saying that after raising 4 kids, learning to play Wii with two grandkids and whipping two husbands into shape my mom graduated from Northern Arizona University with honors with a degree in Elementary Education.


Aren't they just so cute at that age?! 
P.S. ignore my nasty zit and mountain hair. 

Congrats momma, but lets get back to her wisdom in question. She texts me this morning while I'm at work and asks what time I get off and I respond with 2:30 - the time I get off work 90% of the time but I'll let her memory slide and nicely remind her. I hear nothing from mother until 11:15 am when she calls me. I may or may not have had my phone at the desk unlike the fabulous employee that I am so before I know it the computer tower sounds like a sex shop shelf. Whoops.

Answered the phone. Mother wants to know what I'm doing..because she has an extremely tempting offer for me to see Winnie the Pooh on the big screen. Confused by her genuine belief that I would sit and watch Pooh for 90 mins and the fact that she's calling before the stated, per her request, work release time. I explain I'm at work; she argues for 10 mins that I said that I got off at 11:10am and she can see it clear as day on her text message. I deem her bat-shit crazy and hang up...Check my phone to make sure I'm not genetically disposed to being bat-shit crazy as well and I'm safe. The text said 2:30. The text was sent at 11:10am. Mix-up resolved. Her sanity shot. This woman will be teaching your third graders this year, God help you all. 

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The 101 List

About a month ago a co-worker of mine was talking about her 14 year-old-daughter and how good of a kid she is and how focused she is on school and softball. After silently praying that my teenage daughter comes out like that and not the spawn of my payback for my teenage years as my mom promises will happen to me I had to ask how she feels about boys. She tells me that her daughter and her friends had actually made a list of 101 things their future husbands must have (not being a terrorist was on there just to be on the safe side, people). My hamster wheel of a brain starts turning and before I know it I've got myself and 3 of my co-workers making their own 101 list!

I think its really a great tool for both girls and guys to genuinely think about what they want and see it in front of their eyes. Even if you're currently in a relationship, make the list and see if your present P.I.C. makes the cut. 

Here are a few from mine - hope it gives you a little insight to the girl behind the posts :)
7. He must grocery shop
14. Cute butt
15. Lets me be big spoon
18. Prefers to eat diner after 10pm
42. Knows how to order my Starbucks and my sandwiches 
85. Produces chubby babies 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Gym Genius

After my joke of a day yesterday (see below) I decided to head to the gym for a late night sweat/study sesh. I'm a Design Management major but I'm taking Fundamentals of Nutrition over the summer to get the class out of my freakin' life.

I'm on the bike literally biking through what feels like a sea of peanut butter, sweating my butt off and trying to balance the atlas-sized text book for aforementioned stupid class and here comes a strange little man.. We'll call him Mr. Cleopatra. I'm not sure what he was even doing at the gym but I'm gonna guess the answer is not working out because his curly Egyptian locks were still perfectly intact.

He begins to talk to me and before I even comprehend what he was talking about he stops himself and asks "Well, first of all how are you?" Umm. Sweaty. You? He's great. He wants to go to med school and has deemed me his personal advisor in the matter. He begins to ask if I'm studying medicine, how I'm studying medicine, do I like it, etc. Thinking to myself, "This isn't Halloween, I'm not wearing my naughty nurse's costume why the hell is he asking me this??" Then I remembered the Nutrition Atlas. I try explaining that I'm not in med school its just one class for a design degree and he argues that I am indeed studying med school (yes, apparently you can study a whole school) and I realize that I'm not going to win this argument so I simply tell him to Google it. Good night.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Monday Madness

Oh, Monday. How we meet again so soon. This Monday has been full of mixed up madness for me. First off all, a great friend of mine surprised me with tickets to the Diamondbacks game tonight. Super sweet right!? Welp, unfortunately I had plans already. Fail. At least I already plans for a fun evening, but oh wait, those fell through. Already feeling defeated, I came home to find that I had been locked out my house... really Monday, really?

I sincerely hope the start to your week was a little sweeter than mine!

On a happy note, the madness led me to a great conversation with big sister Kate. She let me vent, gave just enough push of direction and above everything encouragement to just take a time out and enjoy the things that make me happy. La la love you Kate! xo

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Hey there pretty girls!

Welcome everyone and thanks for checking out my blog! I started Taking on your Twenties when my girlfriends and I started saying aloud to each other 3x week or more "this is my life" as we crammed for exams, lost our car keys in the span of .3274728 seconds of being in the front door or griped about our boyfriends (or lack thereof) and their sheer idiocy* at times. I'll be sharing my stories, theories and secrets with all of you on everything and anything that could possibly lead to that chapter in your life you call your twenties and I hope you share with me in return!

*Lets be real, it's not really their fault. God gave them two heads and only enough blood to fill one at a time. Boys, you are forgiven.