Friday, August 5, 2011

Oh, the people you run into.

I ran into quite the character today, let me tell you. 

For those of you that don't know me personally or haven't seen me in person you need to know that God threw about 6 different sized body parts onto my body to walk around with the rest of my life..real funny big guy real funny. I am 5'2 and a 1/2". My dear friend Krysta informed me one afternoon at the H&M dressing rooms that she's always noticed I was short but she never noticed it was due to my lack of legs. And I quote, "it's like your upper body grew to an adult size but you have the legs of a 13 year old". I don't know how any of you looked at 13 but I have no desire to go through that awkward turtle phase again. I've decided it's just my hip to knee ratio that's small. I have baby hands with ghetto thighs and huge boobs. There I said it. I look like a short stack of pancakes. Get the visual? Good!

Moving on. Or moving back to the character I ran into today. With my body dimensions in mind please be prepared for the mental movie I'm about to play for you. My friend and I were rushing through the mall before they closed to get back to our car after our movie and I turn the corner just as a Mexican family with about 9,437 chubby prepubescent boys is coming from the opposite direction and BOOM the little stuffed chile relleno runs face first right into the cleavage of my v-neck dress!! I am mortified. I feel violated. I'm afraid I can go to jail for this. My face is as red as a freakin' jalapeno. AND THE DAD IS JUST LAUGHING. Lord help me if I ever have a son one day that runs into some young girl's rack. 

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